It was a fairy tale beginning. I was a bridesmaid at my cousins wedding while Richard was my matching groomsman. We were instantly attracted, spending the day getting to know each other and the night in each other’s arms on the dance floor.
I didn't hesitate in giving him my number at the end of the evening, even with the knowledge that my boyfriend, Mike, was interstate at a conference.
Things weren't going well with Mike, to say the least; our highlights were all in the bedroom where harsh words and angry tears were replaced by passion and fireworks.
We had been together for four years, on and off, and during the off times when I would start dating someone else, Mike would go to great lengths to get me back, and it didn't take much persuading to get me back into bed with him. The guilt that followed meant an immediate end to many fledgling romances with other men.
My family didn't like Mike, and were always encouraging me to take a break and give myself the opportunity of seeing what was out there. I could see the pleased looks on their faces at the wedding when they noticed the attraction Richard and I shared, and on the way home, my mother was full of praise for him and his wealthy family.
Richard sent me flowers at work the following day, and picked me up from my office in the evening so that I didn't need to walk in the rain to catch my train. He took me to a small romantic restaurant with beautiful harbour views, and then left me on my doorstep with a sweet kiss on the lips.
I walked in, an hour and a half after I was due home, to find Mike snoring in front of the television, pizza box under one arm and several beer bottles scattered on the floor around him. The disgust I felt towards him and his evening ritual, especially after my dream evening with Richard, was enough for me to pack my bags and catch a cab back to my parents' home.
My dad cried tears of joy when he opened the door and saw me with bags.
My love for Richard blossomed, and I made every effort to avoid Mike. I changed my phone number and even changed my job to avoid the risk of bumping into him in the city. Mike got the hint and didn't bother with his usual tricks.
Meanwhile, Richard and I settled into a comfortable and happy life together. Because Richard had money, he showered me with gifts and weekends away. He even took me to Paris to mark our first anniversary, proposing to me on the Eiffel Tower.
I was happy but hesitant. Richard was perfect in every way, except I craved for him to be more like Mike in the bedroom. Every time we talked about setting a wedding date, I had a reason to put it off.
The reason for my hesitation was that, after returning from Paris, I came face to face with Mike. As much as I tried to resist him, we ended up back at his place. This time I vowed to be strong and make it the last time.
Every time I looked down at my hand, I was reminded of the love Richard and I shared. But it wasn't enough for me to turn my back on Mike.
Despite this, I still set a wedding date with Richard for our fourth anniversary, made all the preparations, had a stunning ring made to fit around the large diamond engagement ring and ordered my designer wedding gown.
Richard made me book three months leave for our secret honeymoon as well. I later found out that it included a trip to Paris, a fortnight on a yacht off the coast of France, a trip through Egypt, Turkey and Greece, finishing with two weeks on a secluded island in the Maldives.
The wedding was fast approaching, and the tension I was feeling was building. I wanted a life with Richard, but I realised that I would never be finished with Mike.
Each time I made the decision to end it, my resolve crumbled.
In the end the decision was taken out of my hands. The day before we were due to be married, Richard came to see me. The look on his face said it all. He told me he wanted to hear from me what the truth was, and whether I could leave the past in the past and be his wife, and only his.
I told him about Mike, and that as much as I loved Richard, I could never be rid of Mike. Richard spent several hours, along with my parents, begging me to reconsider.
In the end, I feel that Richard is better off being set free. At least one of us is free. Mike has no remorse for what he has put me through and still continues to toy with my emotions.
I am seeing a counselor now, but my life is a miserable mess. I hear from my cousin that Richard sent his parents on the honeymoon and has moved interstate to be rid of me and any reminders of me.
All names have been changed. Picture posed by models.
Your say: Have your say about this true confession below...
