I had been in three serious relationships with men who were fantastic. But as for meeting all the criteria and my sexual life - none of them went all the way.
I met my current boyfriend through the most random of introductions, and, as often with life's funny ways, he turned out to be that guy who swept me off my feet. And he later proved that he was very much in love. He adored me.
I knew I was finally ready to make a change to my sex life. By no means was I a forty year-old virgin, but I wasn't a spring chicken either. I was at once both scared and excited.
My dilemma was that since the first day my boyfriend and I had talked about past relationships, I had admitted to sleeping with my exes. I am intrinsically a very passionate and affectionate person, and during this conversation came across as very experienced with sexual dalliances. I was intimidated by his age and experience - quite the attractive man with quite the list of ladies to his name. I felt the need to meet him in expectations. Yet I told him I wanted the two of us to wait, until it was the 'right time'. I felt really rotten, but compelled to tell this story. He had no idea what 'the right time' was, but was incredibly sensitive to my feelings and acted like a true gentleman. We were passionate in all other aspects and he even admitted to me he couldn't wait for the moment.
He said I acted like a woman very much in control of sex and passion.
Looking back on the lead up to 'the event' it makes me laugh the lengths I went to. I searched the internet for all the hot topics, read books and even watched a few movies! I was nervous that my secret would be discovered and I knew I would be devastated if he found out - that I had no idea what I was doing. I knew that he loved me - he would love me whether he was the first or last on my list. But I wanted to make him the happiest man on our 'first' night together.
As for that first night (which arrive a couple of months later) - it was a rather short one! It was incredibly romantic - there was wine, cheese and an empty beach, lit only by the moon. We were snuggled in a sleeping bag and of course, one thing led to the other.
It was brief, slightly awkward, but quite smooth despite my earlier expectations. I remember making an excuse that my period had just come that day - he apologised and felt bad, but said it was the most amazing evening for him.
Two years down the track, and we are still in love and making love. He often asks me to teach him something new - something I would have expected to go the other way. He has never suspected a thing and conversations relating to anything close to the matter never prove it otherwise. I am indeed still the same passionate woman I was before - glad to have waited for the right man to finally give it all to.
Names have been changed. Picture posed by models.
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