I fed dog food to my ex-girlfriend

I'd been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. I was absolutely besotted with her. I have to admit in hindsight that I was obviously a rebound but at the time I didn't see it. They say love is blind.

Anyway, while I was at her house we were making plans for when we were next going to meet up. She still lived with her mum at the time. She told me that the next day was no good as it was her mum’s birthday and they were having a family dinner - just her, her mum and her brother.

I didn't really think much of it so we just arranged another day to meet up.

The following evening, as I wasn't catching up with her, I decided to drive to town and meet up with some friends. When I got in my car, the battery was flat. How annoying.

I managed to jump start it but I've always been told that when a battery is flat you should drive the car for an hour or so to fully charge the battery.

As it was my girlfriend’s mum’s birthday I thought that it would be a great idea to drive up to her house, drop a birthday card through the letterbox then drive into town. That way the car would be running for a while and the battery would be fine by the time I got to town.

One thing about my girlfriends mother - she is an alcoholic. She was always very 'merry' whenever I was round. We got on really well but it was probably because she was always so accommodating and over-friendly because she was always drunk.

Well, I got to the house and ran out of the car (leaving the engine running) and popped the card though the letterbox.

Just as I had turned round to go back to the car the front door opened. My girlfriends mum shouted out to me. I went up and explained that the car was still running and that I didn't want to interrupt her dinner and she told me not to be so silly and said she would get me a drink.

She then shouted upstairs to Sally (my girlfriend) and told her I was here. The woman was drunk again and there was no arguing.

After what seemed like rather a long time (with me still standing in the doorway keeping an eye on my car), Sally appeared and looked VERY surprised to see me.

I was explaining to her that I hadn't intended on coming in and about the birthday card and car battery and told her that I would see her tomorrow, when I saw her ex boyfriend walking along the landing to the toilet.

I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart. How could she do this to me??! I turned around and walked back to my car and drove off. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I'd honestly not intended speaking to any of them and now this had happened.

My world felt like it was crushed. I drove home and sat there dazed, thinking over the events. I had lots of missed calls on my phone from Sally and I just chose to ignore them. I couldn't deal with her right then.

After some time had passed I decided that revenge was looking rather sweet. I had no intention of being with someone who could do this to me. I eventually answered her call and asked her round for dinner.

I lived by myself so it was going to be easier 'talking' to her about everything at my place.

I went out to the local supermarket and bought the ingredients for my 'cottage pie'. I bought some chicken liver wet meat dog food and a few other bits and pieces.

I cunningly made two dishes - one for myself and one for her, she didn’t see what was going on in the kitchen because I made it all before she got there. I mixed in a tin of dog food to some very cheap mince. Chopped tomatoes and onion. Made mine differently, mine was great!!

Anyway, when she arrived the pies were in the oven and I gave her a glass of cheap wine and told her to relax while I dished up.

It was an awkward atmosphere from the moment she walked in but I decided we could 'talk' over dinner.

I proudly handed her the plate and we started eating. She pulled a bit of a face when she had her first mouthful - I simply told her I'd taken all afternoon preparing and how pleased with how it turned out I was. I think out of politeness and trying to get into my good books she carried on eating.

I then got out of her the truth - she had slept with him but was feeling really guilty and was very sorry. At this point I told her that I had no intention of getting back with her - I just got her round so I could find out the truth. I asked her to leave (after she had eaten most of her food) and that I never wanted to see her again.

Stupid? Yes. But for those few minutes of watching her trying to eat this food that was obviously tasting pretty foul I felt a lot better. Needless to say that feeling didn't last.

I never bothered telling her about what I did. In fact I didn't bother contacting her again after that.

I'm now in a happy relationship with a wonderful woman and I feed her only the best food around.

Picture posed by models.

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