True Confessions

My Boyfriend had an affair...with my Dad

Woman's Day reader
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Win $200 - submit your own true confession via the feedback form at the top of this confession. Those confessions featured on the website will receive $200.
Woman's Day reader
My parents separated when I was very young, and as I grew up I realised it was because my Dad was gay. I stayed at my Dad's place every weekend until I was about 17, so I had met and bonded with a few of his male partners over the years.

When I moved into an apartment with Uni friends, I began to see less and less of my dad.

In my first year of University I met Rob at a friend's party. We bonded straight away over our taste in music and soon became really good friends. Rob was gorgeous- cropped dark hair, broad shoulders and bright green eyes - he looked like a male model!

While I was usually extremely shy around good looking guys, I found Rob so easy to talk to and laugh with - hanging out with him was like hanging out with one of my girlfriends.

While I always thought Rob was very good-looking, I had never really felt a spark between us, and was content with our close friendship.

One day we were both hanging out in my apartment, drinking cheap wine, and I began to feel a bit tipsy. I had just found out that a guy I really liked at my work had just gotten a girlfriend, so I was upset and pouring my heart out to Rob.

He listened to me babble on all night, offering me hugs and telling me that I was beautiful and would find the perfect guy one day. Without thinking I leaned forward and kissed him.

At first he didn't respond, like he was in shock. He looked really confused, but then kissed me back. We made out for a while, and although he was a bit awkward at first, he soon loosened up and we both seemed to feel very comfortable.

After that night our friendly coffee 'dates' turned into proper romantic dates. Rob was such a gentleman, always holding the door open for me, paying for my meals at restaurants and never acting sleazy.

After a few weeks we started referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At the age of 20 Rob was my first boyfriend, as I had always been way too shy to date boys in high school.

As he was my first boyfriend, I didn't really know what to expect from the relationship. I knew that all my friends who were my age started sleeping with their boyfriends after a few weeks, but Rob and I had been going out for a couple of months by this stage and he still hadn't made that move. He never kissed me in public, and our make out sessions never lasted very long, but I assumed he just wanted to take things slow.

"I assumed he just wanted to take things slow..."

Our relationship continued this way for many more months, and I began to feel rejected by Rob's lack of physical affection. I never mentioned this to him because by this stage I was very much in love with him and didn't want to start an argument.

Christmas time came around, and Rob invited me to lunch at his parents' house, while I invited him to dinner at my Dad’s house. I was really nervous about meeting his parents for the first time, as he gave me the impression that they were quite strict.

I tried my best to act confident during lunch, but Rob's parents soon proved to be very judgmental, making me even more shy than usual. They made petty comments about their sons appearance, and subtly criticised his choice of study (he was studying Teaching at the time). While they weren't out-right rude, I could tell from their sly comments that they were very hard to impress, and poor Rob copped most of their criticism.

With lunch out of the way, we finally escaped, then headed to my Dad’s house later on for dinner. After having just broken up with his latest partner before Christmas, Dad was currently living by himself, and it was obvious that he was pretty lonely.

When we arrived, Dad was really happy to see me, and very excited to finally meet my boyfriend.

Dad and Rob seemed to click straight away - they both loved to travel, and spent the entire dinner discussing the places they had been and the places they wanted to go. Dad was a high school Art teacher, and Rob was studying to become a teacher, so they had that in common too.

After dinner we moved into the living room to continue chatting. It was late and I soon fell asleep on the couch, but every now and then I would drift in and out of sleeping and Dad and Rob would still be immersed in conversation.

Rob and I didn't end up leaving until well past midnight, and the whole way home he couldn't stop commenting on how cool my Dad was and how young he seemed.

The next week, Dad invited us over again for lunch on New Year’s Day. Again, he and Rob chatted for hours, before Rob had to leave for work. I stayed to help Dad clean up and we started chatting about Uni and work, and of course Rob.

Dad asked if it was serious between us two, and my mind flashed back to my embarrassing attempt to seduce him into my bed the previous night...which of course he rejected. I was feeling very unsure that day so I told Dad it wasn't really that serious yet.

Over the next few weeks we all spent more time together than usual, and eventually it got to the point where it was just Dad and Rob spending time together without me.

"At first I was thrilled that my boyfriend and my Dad were getting along so well, but then it started to get a bit weird."

Rob was coming over to my place less and less, and we starting only seeing each other about once a week. At first Rob would enthusiastically tell me every detail of the time he had spent with my dad- but after a while whenever I asked what they'd gotten up to the day before, he would go quiet and try and change the subject.

It was weird and eventually I checked his phone and found a whole bunch of messages from my Dad saying things like 'I know I only saw you this morning, but I already miss you'. My heart sunk. Never in a million years did I think that my Dad would steal my boyfriend.

I had no proof that they had actually had a physical relationship, but as soon as I saw those messages, I felt so stupid for not realising that Rob was gay. The signs were all there, it was so obvious. He was only with me to please his parents and to stop them from becoming suspicious about his sexuality.

Two years later and I don't speak to Rob anymore, and my relationship with my Dad is still very strained and awkward as we have never spoken about what happened.

I never told anyone the real reason why Rob and I broke up, not even my close friends or my mum. On the plus side I've recently met an awesome guy who is loving, kind and can't keep his hands off me!

All names have been changed. Picture: Getty Images. Posed by model.

Your say: Have your say about this true confession below...

User comments
Awww, its actually quite sweet the naivety of this girl. Face it, we all go through stupid relationships when we are young. And when we are that age we don't know any better. She hadn't had a boyfriend before, so didn't know what to expect. And all chicks have a gay best friend, fall in love with them and make it their mission to flirt and try to change them! Dont blame yourself love, but take it as a learning curve. Its frickin hilarious when you look back at it surely! Come on, honestly how could you not have wondered.... Yeah its probably not the coolest thing your dad did thats for sure - but you were in love (sooooo blindly in love you could even tell he was gay!!!) and your dad did the same. Alls fair in love an war. Its not this dudes fault he's gay, she pressured him into the relationship when he clearly gave her signs. you reckon its the easiest thing to come to terms with your sexuality and then tell everyone you care for????
If anyone is to blame for this it is Rob's parents. Thousands of women are taken advantage of this way simply because certain members of society force some gay people to be who they are not. Some womens lives who marry and have children end up with lives that are ruined forever and many gay men suffer immensely too. In other words, some people think it is better to take advantage of a women and to live a lie than to be open about being gay. They believe it is a worse sin to be honest about being gay than it is to break a woman's heart when she eventually finds out that the love she thought was real was phonie.
LOL i was reading it and thought that the narrator was a male and that he was gay like his dad (learned behaviour) and how sad that was. But then at the end i realised that the narrator was a woman. That's not sooo bad then.
what a horrible father... Rob obviously just wants someone to share and express his true self to. Rob is also horrible for choosing his gf's father, but as a gay man i can see how desperate rob may have been for guidence and affection. Fathers (and mothers) are supposed to protect their children. This father disgusts me.
If it was me I would confront her father. (See Star Wars Return of the Jedi.) If her relationship feels 'strained' now it's worse just to pretend it doesn't matter and suppress it. People have this amazing ability to not face confronting the truth and most when having the choice of confronting the truth, just try harder to look the other way or delude themselves into thinking 'it doesn't matter'. People need to start acting like proper adults and face their problems (and the world's problems), not just keep looking away and distracting themselves from the issues like a irresponsible little 3 year old, because that's what the Human Race is like. They all just should've been more honest about everything from the start and if they had there wouldn't have been any problems. And about Rob's parents, if people have a dig at you to put you down (usually to elevate themselves by comparison) don't just put up with it, tell them to sod off, whether it's your parents, 'friends' or anyone else!
This is absolutely deceitful for the girl in volved. I am a gay man myself yes its hard but the guy should have been more honest about his sexuality, the father is just absolutely a predator
Lets face it we all do thing that we shouldn't or wouldn't normally do in every day life. In the end there are 4 happy people. So enjoy the life you now have and appreciate it.
Im amazed at the amount of people who think it's her fault....She kissed him, for whatever reason, she wanted to kiss him so she did. Its not like she dumped him after - she actually wanted a relationship out of it. So he kissed her back - he shouldnt have if he wasn't interested in her. She didn't "fail" to meet his needs or anything that implies she did anything wrong, she didn't. And for her dad and him to persue a relationship while they were actually together is plain wrong. I agree wholeheartedly with a previous poster. Had my boyfriend left me for my mum - I don't care if they are better suited than me, there are people that are off limits and they should have broken up at the VERY least before Rob persued a relationship Yes it's sad society does not yet accept homosexuals as equals - but that doesn't mean it's okay for ither people to get messed around because he didnt have the bottle to say he wasnt intersted in her her.
For all of you who are in support of daddy and the so called gay boyfriend need your heads examined!!!! What ..... yeah lets talk about betrayal. Poor little old Rob as depicted seems quite malicious and selfish, it's not a question about whether or not he is gay or straight, Rob and dad are the scum in this situation. I couldn't care less if he ran off with the local butcher, it was her father, you cant get much worse than that, your father is supposed to be the "sure thing", someone who will never stab you in the back. And for all of you that feel Rob was forced into a relationship!!! Well, he had ample opportunity to get out. AND SERIOUSLY!!!!!! Like Rob and Daddy couldn't find anyone else to be with and spare the humuliation and feelings of a precious daughter. Give me a break. As for the daughter, good luck to her I hope she gets everything she wants in life. By the way, I am not anti-gay, quite the opposite, I just hate stabs in the back. Bad daddy I say
It's a lovely story. Well done for the girl and Rob.

VOTE
advertisement
advertisement

VIDEOS

PHOTOS

ARTICLES

Valentine's Day - Hollywood's Happiest CouplesValentine's Day - Hollywood's Happiest Couples Colin Firth ExclusiveColin Firth Exclusive Suri Cruise Has Meltdown and Make Up DinnerSuri Cruise Has Meltdown and Make Up Dinner

Today's top 5

Billy Bob Thornton: I will always love AngelinaBilly Bob Thornton: I will always love AngelinaAngelina Jolie's ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton clearly still has a soft spot for her, saying he will "love her until the end of my life". Nicole and Tom's war over IsabellaNicole and Tom's war over IsabellaThe furious actress hits LA to demand a meeting with her ex-husband over their daughter’s looming marriage to Eddie Frencher. Kate and William's kidnap terrorKate and William's kidnap terrorFears for the safety of Prince William and his wife are at an all-time high as the pair’s security is labelled ‘incompetent’. Devoted husband sends a love letter for his wife to Woman's DayDevoted husband sends a love letter for his wife to Woman's DayWhen Todd Hobson asked us to help out his sick wife, he was in for a surprise of his own. NRL cougar Charmyne Palavi becomes a grandmotherNRL cougar Charmyne Palavi becomes a grandmotherShe famously dated young footballers, but now the blonde beauty is smitten by a far younger bloke – her first grandchild.

Your say

Most commented

Sara Leonardi-McGrath: Our family joySara Leonardi-McGrath: Our family joyIt is never too soon or too late to remarry but Mc Grath has made a disastrous decision with Leonardi He doesn't expect such negative reactions from the public because he thought that he could easily sell her image and pocket big money with the popularity of his unfortunate late wife Wrong honey Its not that easy!!!!! I dont know her personally but via her interviews and tweets everybody can see that she is a loathsome arrogant pretentious ridiculous and stupid person . Its her life but she should shut her large mouth and stop promoting herself in magazines or tweetsr if she doesnt want to read bad crictics from the publicfrank, bondi18 CommentsPost commentView comments
Sara Leonardi-McGrath: Our family joySara Leonardi-McGrath: Our family joyIt is never too soon or too late to remarry but Mc Grath has made a disastrous decision with Leonardi He doesn't expect such negative reactions from the public because he thought that he could easily sell her image and pocket big money with the popularity of his unfortunate late wife Wrong honey Its not that easy!!!!! I dont know her personally but via her interviews and tweets everybody can see that she is a loathsome arrogant pretentious ridiculous and stupid person . Its her life but she should shut her large mouth and stop promoting herself in magazines or tweetsr if she doesnt want to read bad crictics from the publicfrank, bondi18 CommentsPost commentView comments Mel B is new host on Dancing with the StarsMel B is new host on Dancing with the StarsWell you aint gonna get my support DWTS - I dont like Mel B one bit, what is wrong with getting a good looking aussie girl to host the show? Mel B is a has been, she is no longer famous. Stop giving our jobs away!Boo, QLD18 CommentsPost commentView comments Unhappy housewifeTrue Confessions Agony Aunt: My husband and kids take me for grantedAh women attacking women yet again. So much for the sisterhood. I am a stay at home Mum. I do not "bludge" off my husband. I manage the house, the meals, the money and everyone's schedules. I do not have a "clock off" time. But I do have break times. When my son is at school and my baby boy is asleep I can put my feet up, read a book etc. I do make time for myself and yes I do complain sometimes especially when I am tired. My husband also comes home from work and complains about his job sometimes. Everybody has a right to have a bit of a whinge regardless of the choices they made in life. I love my role and despite some complaints from me there are also many rich rewards. I have not missed a moment of my baby's life so far, I get to help my older boy with his homework and be involved with his life. If you feel unappreciated speak up. I do if I feel I am being taken for granted. Your job is so important and you desrve some respect even if you don't bring in a wage.Ads, Vermont Vic16 CommentsPost commentView comments Nicole Kidman's panic: I've lost my baby girlNicole Kidman's panic: I've lost my baby girlIts a shame there are so many misconceptions about Scientology. Perhaps some want it that way. I have been in it for may years on and get annoyed by the stuff written about it. The media like to sell their magazines by creating controversy about the religion and the celebs that belong to it. One also wonders if vested interests who want to put Scientology out of business because of its genuine stance against pharmaceutical drugging of kids and abuse of human rights might be financing some of these attacks. Scientology is about spiritual awareness. Something that I feel this society is short of. Especially when a society seems to be rife with magazines full of gosip based not nessecarily on fact but what someone thinks people want to hear. Good luck to the happy couple and if it doesnt work out then good luck to both of them anyway. StanStan the Man, Adelaide14 CommentsPost commentView comments Mary and Fred's public marriage meltdownMary and Fred's public marriage meltdownIf they only disagree once in 7 years What a blessed Marriage.Suck it up Gossips.Old Tom, South West Rocks13 CommentsPost commentView comments