The time is 10pm. Friday night. You're home alone, slouched on the couch and armed with a tub of choc-chip ice-cream. Why? Because you're upset. Maybe your man ditched you, or you've had a bad day at work. So you reach for comfort food. But is that such a bad thing?

Eating behaviour specialist Dr Rick Kausman is the Australian pioneer of the non-dieting approach to healthy weight management. He insists we have to reassess the way we think about food.

"When we think of something as being bad, the natural progression is to think we're bad for having that food," he says. "That can lead us to eat more than we really want.

"For example, people often say, 'Oh, I've had a Tim Tam… I was really bad for doing that. Oh well, I might as well have a few more. I'll be extra-good tomorrow.' But tomorrow never comes. "Some comfort eating is OK and normal, but it can become an issue if we end up doing it every time we have a problem. We need to broaden the ways we deal with different situations, so eating is not the only choice."

Another thing for us to consider is the way that we treat different types of food. Most people are attracted to anything forbidden, so if a food item is taken off the menu, we usually want it even more. "If you know it's OK to have it, it's easier to eat more slowly. You enjoy your food more and you end up eating less," Dr Kausman says. But if nothing is off limits, won't we scoff down everything in sight, just because we can?

"No," he says. "If we can practise feeling less guilty about eating our favourite comfort food, it doesn't mean we will eat more of it. If we listen to what we really feel like eating, it turns out we don't want hamburgers or whatever all the time."

Comfort eating busters

Next time you're down in the dumps, try these before heading for the fridge:

1. Take some time out to pamper yourself with a facial, massage or manicure.

2. Relax in a soothing bubble bath. Light some candles, close the door and shut out the world.

3. Do something nice for someone else. It makes them feel good and helps you forget about your problems.

4. Visit or ring a friend. Go for a walk in the fresh air.

5. Get off the couch and exercise. It makes our bodies release natural feel-good chemicals called endorphins.

6. Cry... let it all out and then look forward instead of back.

7. Crank up the music and dance like crazy.

8. Eat healthily. A balanced diet helps to keep our bodies and minds more capable of getting through the day.

9. If you've just broken up with someone, rearrange your room. A new setting helps create the sense of a new beginning.

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